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You Are the Problem with the World
Reflections on my mother’s advice
“If everyone thinks they are good, then who is the bad person?”
~ Random Post on Twitter
Look Inwards
I stumbled on a post on Twitter about how people always think they are the good person in a relationship and it opened a door into memory — one with worn hinges. In that memory, I am sitting on a three-seater sofa in my living room, unburdening to my mother. She is listening intently as I share a long list of the issues my partner and I were having at the time. It was overwhelming and I was tired. I was ready to throw in the towel.
I recall her tilting her head thoughtfully to one side and after a long pause, pointing out that for over an hour all I talked about were my partner’s shortcomings.
“Look inwards.” She counseled. “You can’t change your partner. The only person you can change is you. What are YOUR own shortcomings? What are you contributing to the pain you are both experiencing and what do you want to do about it? That is as much as you have control over.”
I hadn’t expected her response to be so provocative. Her words were like barnacles that were now forever stuck on the hull of my consciousness. For…
